One Bad Random

Shortly after Andy's Crazy Cruise Fiasco, Carl was doing his best to make sure he didn't fall behind in the contest to be my craziest brother. As I've detailed before, he's lived off my parents at their house on the coast for the past 20 or so years. Well, he finally met himself a woman. First she was mad that my parents wouldn't let her smoke or have a dog in the house. Her view was that it was somehow her house too since she was living in it. She resented them treating her like a kid.

In the middle of this, my other brother Brian tried to help Carl out with his computer. Brian even travelled 3 or so hours to try and get his internet access in working order. Later, Carl apparently called Brian and asked when he was coming back down. For whatever reason, Brian said he wasn't planning to come visit any time soon. Carl said that'd be fine and that Brian could just send him the money that he would have spent driving down and back. Huh?

Meanwhile, Carl's woman decided that my parents' house at the coast was haunted. Of course this meant that she and Carl had to get their own place. Luckily she's on some sort of disability so she could help pay for things. And for transportation they could use an old motorcycle and sidecar she had. I would easily have paid money to see Carl's helmeted head sticking out of that sidecar but it wasn't meant to be. My parents helped Carl get a truck. I suspect they paid for the whole thing since paying for everything is the usual definition of "help" when Carl is concerned.

Shortly after getting their own love nest they decided to drive to Arizona and pan for topaz. When they got there they just pitched a tent and slept there, discovering soon after that the desert gets cold at night. Carl then began calling with flimsy truck related excuses as to why he needed my parents to send him money. One was that they were driving back to Texas when a rock went through the radiator. Bad luck, that. When they got to Texas they were going to set up their tent and live on the beach. I suspect that the government might frown upon that, but who knows.

Right before Father's day a drunken Carl calls Brian at 3 or 4 in the morning asking what Brian planned to get the old man for the occasion. Brian's wife got on the phone and pointed out to Carl that it was 4 in the goddamn morning–call back during the day, preferably when you're not drunk and then hung up. Carl's woman then called back and spewed some sort of incoherent drunken ramblings. Words were probably exchanged.

Then, for Father's day, Carl sent my dad some box of crap. He then called and said that if he didn't like it, he could send it back. So, my dad sent it back (unopened I think). My additional suspicion is that the 4am call to Brian probably was headed toward: "I got dad a cool present. We should go in on it together. Send me money."

Carl's last known whereabouts is somewhere in the Arizona desert, possibly near a large deposit of topaz. I can't wait to see what happens next.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 25th, 2006 at 6:37 pm and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.