The eBay Fiasco
So Easy, Your Parents Can Use It
In order to consider something truly usable, it should be so easy to use that your parents can use it. I've heard this bit of bullshit numerous times. While I didn't participate directly in the following eBay use case study, I do know the players quite well. What follows is a summary of events that occurred in 2007 that I call simply "The eBay Fiasco."
My mother calls up my wife and says she needs some help with something.
Lisa: What's up?
Mom: Well, we bought something on the eBay and now we can't pay for it. It wants some electronic thing.
Lisa: Oh, it's probably PayPal. I can just pay for you and you can pay me back. What's your eBay account?
Mom: Oh my. I don't know that.
Lisa: Um, what account were you using when you bought it?
Mom: DOUG!?!? WHAT'S THE ACCOUNT WITH THE EBAY!? He doesn't know. We made it last night.
Lisa: I'll check your HotMail for the confirmation e-mail. Here we go. There are two. Which one did you use?
Mom: DOUG!?! WHICH ACCOUNT DID WE USE? … FOR THE EBAY! … ON THE COMPUTER! … He doesn't know.
Lisa: Okay. What's the password for the accounts?
Mom: DOUG!?! WHAT'S THE PASSWORD!? … FOR THE EBAY! … He doesn't know.
Lisa: Well, I don't want to reset both passwords. I'll just find the auction by searching for closed auctions listing the item you bought. What is it?
Mom: Oh, we bought some panties.
Lisa: Panties?
Mom: Panties.
Lisa: Oh. Okay. Well, there are a few closed auctions, oddly, for panties. I'll list off the account names.
Mom: That's it. The last one.
Lisa: I'll have it reset the password for that account. The security question is "What was the first street you lived on?"
Mom: Oh, we put a different answer for that. It's my mom's dad's mom's maiden name. Marion.
Lisa: That didn't work.
Mom: Well, Doug misspelled it. It's M-A-R-Y-A-N-N.
Lisa: Nope.
Mom: M-A-R-I-O-N.
Lisa: We tried that one.
Mom: M-A-R-Y-A-N-N-E.
Lisa: Nope.
Mom: M-A-R-I-A-N-N-E.
Lisa: Okay, that's it. I'm in. Well, it's not PayPal, it's BidPay. I don't have one of those. You can pay by money order.
Mom: That's fine.
Lisa: I sent the seller an e-mail. I also sent you an e-mail with all the details. Just print that out and send that address the money order. Put the printout in the letter. It has the details for the auction and your address information.
Mom: Thanks so much, dear.
Lisa: Oh, it's no problem.
Conclusion
I cannot design a site so simple that my parents can use it–I would go insane. I shudder at the security implications. I can't. I won't. Fuck you.
The internet is so pervasive that people like my parents are now buying their underwear online. I'm not sleeping so well lately, for a number of reasons. Did I mention they were edible? Okay, I made that part up.
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