One Bad Random

Sometime over the past month or so someone where I work decided we'd look better/bigger if we had a receptionist. Of course, having a real receptionist would cost money and be a pretty big waste given the small number of visitors we get. So, they just put a desk up front with a name plate that has the title of "Receptionist" on it. Then they put a sign on the desk implying that the receptionist is away from their desk and that the visitor should just use the available phone to call the party they're there to see. The funnier thing is they've put a couple of legal pads (one with a doodle on it) and a picture frame (with a photo of someone's dog) on the desk. It's simply bizarre.

Update:

Here are the pictures.

I was amused that there isn't actually room enough for a person to get behind the desk (picture 2).

What's the Difference?

The wife and I just got back from vacation which was, as always, to Disney World. A quick lesson before anyone asks. Disneyland is in California. It was the original theme park opened by Walt Disney (and the only one he lived to see opened) and consists of two parks: Disneyland and Disney California Adventure. Disney World is in Florida and has four major theme parks. Disneyland Paris, Tokyo Disneyland, and Hong Kong Disneyland are separate parks and all came much later. Disney World is by far the largest and has been the only one the wife and I have visited to date.

Da Plane, Da Plane

We flew this time (we've driven twice) and had a layover in Houston. While waiting for our plane, the previous plane to Cleveland was delayed. Someone on the flight decided to take a smoke break and wound up missing his flight. They did not pull his luggage from the cargo area as I understood was the policy in a post-911 world. He seemed fine with missing his flight after he finally showed up (8 minutes late).

When our plane finally boarded it was pretty much packed. When we found our way to our seat some woman was sitting in the row, among three seats, with her shit spread out everywhere. She seemed inconvenienced when we told her she was in our seats. When she finally gathered all her shit up it turns out she wasn't even sitting on that row. She had just assumed that, on an otherwise crowded flight, an empty row (with around 15 minutes of boarding time left) was fair game.

The guy that sat in front of us was a rather portly gentleman from England. He asked the flight attendant for a seatbelt extender and got the brush off. He then asked another attendant a little while later and also got the brush off. Now, I've never worked as a flight attendant, but I would think they could prioritize that a little bit. I mean the poor guy is obviously 1 1/2 seats wide. Let him preserve a little of his dignity and not make him ask multiple times for the extender.

I spent the rest of the flight enjoying the SkyMall catalog. One item that struck me as funny was the Lord's Prayer on a Mobius strip. I found it funny because a Mobius strip only has "one side," much like some peoples' view on religion. When we finally got to Florida, I had a little trouble while de-boarding. I lost my balance and fell back onto the arm of the seat. I'm positive I fell on the arm of the seat. This'll be important later. When we finally got off the plane some older lady caught up with me in the boarding area. We then had the following lovely exchange:

Lady: For future reference, when you fall all over someone, you really should apologize.
Me: Oh, wow. I didn't realize. I'm terribly sorry about that.
Lady: Well, you fell right on top of me.
Me: I didn't realize. I thought I had only fallen on the arm of the chair. I'm terribly sorry.
Lady: No. You fell right on top of me. And you're a pretty big guy.
Me: Wow. I'm really sorry about that. I didn't realize it at the time.
Lady: You did step all over me. Do you have a grandmother?
Me: No, as a matter of fact I don't.
Lady: [confused]…
My Wife: Look, he already apologized several times. Why don't you stop badgering him?
Lady: …well, fuck you, too then! Have a nice visit!

I'm pretty much positive that I didn't step on her (I would have felt something under foot) and I know I didn't land on her. I heard no exclamation of pain from having squashed her delicate osteoporotic bones. My wife was behind me in our aisle and later confirmed that I did not fall on the woman from her point of view. My guess is that maybe the seat back bumped into her in a non-painful manner. She then got some wild hair up her ass and ramped up her courage to confront the hulking old-lady-squashing-behemoth that is me. After spending so much energy preparing for the confrontation she was ill-prepared for the easy apology. I can only assume she was holding out for some sort of cash settlement.

Although my statement that I do not have a grandmother is technically true (I only remember one grandparent that was evidently a step-grandparent) I was really just getting tired of the lecture. My only complaint about the whole incident is that the wife jumped in prematurely. I was kind of interested in where the whole thing was going. However, you can't really be dissatisfied with any incident with a 60+ year old woman uttering the words, "Well, fuck you, too." If the trip ended there I would have still considered it a success. Luckily Lisa later saw the woman in the bathroom talking about how she had talked to someone's kid the whole flight. I'm surprised that she was over the whole bone crushing incident so quickly…

Boma? Not so Much

The first night of the trip we ate at the Animal Kingdom Lodge Resort's restaurant Boma. It's an African themed buffet. On the whole I would say that the food was terribly overrated. Of course, a lot of the food was very Indian themed, since apparently there are a number of large population pockets of Indians in Africa. I confess I don't like Indian food, so I didn't like many of the dishes. The meat entrees and desserts were the highlights. Ultimately, I don't think it was worth the $25 per person, but your mileage may vary.

We ate there to meet a number of VMK players that my wife knows from online. Yeah, a dinner with online game players is pretty much all you would expect. They talked about the game constantly and were rather dull and socially retarded otherwise.

The Biggest Fans are your Biggest Enemies

Since the wife and I have been to Disney World so many times it should come as no surprise that there were very few new things for us to experience. Still, there was a small number of new things to see. The first new thing we saw was the new roller coaster in Animal Kingdom–Everest. I definitely recommend it. It (alongside Rockin' Roller Coaster) is the most thrilling ride available at Disney (discounting the fact that Mission Space kills people). After that we turned our attention to the modified attractions (Disney calls them attractions rather than "rides").

Next was the modified "Living Seas" which has been updated to the "Seas with Nemo and Friends." Since the acquisition of Pixar, Disney has been updating older attractions and creating all new attractions around the Pixar intellectual property. The "Living Seas" in Epcot now includes a pre-attraction ride in clamshell-shaped ride vehicles that show several animated movies that star the cast of Finding Nemo. In all, I'd say that, along with the currently down "Turtle Talk," it is a great update. Turtle Talk is an interactive show with Crush the turtle from the movie. The computer animated turtle can talk to and respond to people in the show area. Kids seem to love it. Without the update it is basically a very large aquarium.

In Animal Kingdom they have a new puppet show called "Finding Nemo the Musical." It attempts to add catchy songs onto the movie. It does an adequate job of providing Pixar related content that, once again, the kids seem to like. All of this despite the fact that the songs in the show aren't all that catchy. I wonder if Disney will put pressure on Pixar to make more of their features into musicals like the Lion King, Aladdin, or the Little Mermaid. Surely there's a greater merchandising opportunity for movies with catchier songs.

The last update is to the Pirates of the Caribbean. They added a total of three audio-animatronic figures of Jack Sparrow. As always, whenever Disney updates content, people are outraged that they've changed a nostalgic attraction. I don't think these people realize that many of the new visitors to the park don't give a shit that these attractions were either 1) around when Walt was alive or 2) were part of their park experience growing up. Catering to the nostalgic creates an artificial hard cap on the number of people to which you appeal. Kids that have never been to the park that are riding the Pirates of the Caribbean want to see something related to the movie. Updating the attraction is a no-brainer. Besides that, I think they did a very good job on the new animatronics. The Jack Sparrow figure is smoother than all of the old figures and integrates well into the story. The lack of nostalgia is probably the only area in which Disney envies other theme parks like Universal Studios…

And the Rest…

Besides the new attractions, we just basically hung out at Disney World, mostly with another friend of the wife's from VMK. It's such a pleasant place to vacation. I, as always, highly recommend it for a vacation destination. There is more to see there than you could possibly view in a normal seven day vacation. All of the cast members (a.k.a. Disney employees) are very pleasant and helpful and, despite the reputation, there is plenty to do for people who hate children (like me).

Heron of Alexandria

During my current documentary viewing phase I came across a very nice show on Heron of Alexandria. As the Wikipedia article states, "Hero was known for his mechanical ingenuity in the ancient world, to include his contributions in military technology and theater. He also created devices used in temples to instill faith by deceiving believers with 'magical acts of the gods.'"

Among his literally awe inspiring inventions used in the temples of the time were temple doors that automatically opened when a fire was lit on an altar, a priest controlled device to make a mechanical bird chirp as an answer to a yes/no question, and a coin operated holy water dispenser (perhaps history's first coin operated vending machine). All of these were seen as acts of the gods and instilled faith in the uninitiated.

Effects on Faith

This whole thing of duping people to strengthen their faith has always brought up some interesting questions for me. First, how could the duper remain a believer in any way? They've seen the way people make up reasons for the unexplained–things that trickster could easily explain. This leads to the issue of how could you even base your faith on the eye witness accounts of others? I read a great book on memory a few years ago called White Gloves that, if memory serves (har har), does an excellent job of explaining how the human memory is way too malleable to be trusted completely.

Smoking Quarters Can Be Hazardous

I saw another firsthand example of this many years ago. A friend of one of my brother's was an amateur magician. He had a trick where he would ask for a quarter and a cigarette. He'd then push the cigarette through the quarter and light it up. He then took a few puffs, removed the cigarette, and gave the quarter back.

The trick was done using a prop quarter that had a hole drilled through it. The hole was filled by the underside of a tiny hinged door to look like the back of a normal quarter. He'd palm the quarter he was given and then use his own to complete the trick. If you saw the heads side of the quarter you'd see the little door. Of course the tails side is the only side exposed because it's the side that doesn't vary, unless it's a bicentennial quarter. When asked about the trick people would swear that they saw both sides of the quarter because he turned it enough that you could see that the cigarette was penetrating the quarter. Their minds filled in the rest and convinced them that they had indeed seen both sides.

Required Learning

So given the unreliability of memory, eye witness accounts, and word of mouth, are all good magicians atheists (or at least agnostic)? Once you've seen enough people react to "magic" how could you ever believe in the accounts of 2000+ year old miracles? Regardless, the kind of critical thinking you begin to acquire after seeing how enough tricks are done leads me to think that stage magic should be required learning in high school or college.

So, I'm watching some shit fluff show on E! and Jamie Foxx was talking about something being "off the chain." I remember back when things were merely "off the hook." Never one to sit back and watch the kids sling the slang, I decided I need to come up with my own phrase. You know, to show how fucking white I am. What's my new phrase? Drumroll: Off the menu. That's right. It's so influential and so rich, that shit ain't even on the menu. It's not an option for you fucking lemming bitches. Feel free to use it in a sentence. My new slang is off the menu, baby.

Update: Suck it.

The wife and I recently headed down to my parents' place for a visit. We were supposed to visit over Thanksgiving, but that got derailed. My parents have a pretty big driveway, but I soon saw we would be unable to park next to the house. Some piece of shit van was in one of the two parking spots under the car port.

Given that my parents live in what I would call a pretty shitty neighborhood (you know, people with non-running cars parked in their driveways for years at a time), I much prefer parking away from the street. After asking some questions it turns out that the van belongs to a cousin from my dad's "Mormon" side of the family, though the van owner is her Samoan husband. They had asked to park there for "a little while" and then left the state. Apparently that was four or five months ago. The frustrating thing is they had finally gotten rid of my oldest brother's non-running car that had been parked there a couple of years.

We gave them their late Christmas presents, I upgraded their anti-virus software, looked at some of my mom's paintings (which are our birthday / anniversary / Christmas / whatever presents), and headed to Jim's for a later dinner (I was inexplicably craving cream gravy).

During the dinner we talked about my dad's very very minor mini-stroke he had a few months ago. The night of his stroke he was having trouble speaking. My mom tried to get him to the hospital but he chose to try and sleep it off first. Yes, my stubbornness may be genetic. He finally went to the hospital the next day and got some blood thinners and tests and found out that it was most likely a result of has carotid artery being 95% clogged. A few weeks later he got that cleaned out and seems to have mostly recovered (he still has to search for the occasional word).

A few weeks after that my parents were in a car wreck and totaled their car. My dad was driving and it was ruled that he was at fault. I don't think it had anything to do with the stroke as I know the area in which the wreck happened as well as how bad of a driver he was before the stroke. It's a nasty little side street that turns onto a major road with very bad visibility and a plethora of drivers with a penchant for speeding. Regardless, the car was totaled and they earned a trip to the hospital in an ambulance. They're fine except for being pretty sore even a month after the accident.

The next day we headed to a Chinese food buffet named "Chopsticks." On top of all of the other shit they've got going on, my dad recently found out he's "got the diabetes." It's relatively minor, requiring him to take one pill a day and to keep an eye on his blood sugar. My wife's uncle (with the dead wife and cerebral palsy son) and grandmother (who lives in the same house as the uncle) are both diabetic. Before the lady of the house died she was kept constantly busy making sure the two of them didn't sneak high sugar treats while she wasn't looking. Kindly enough, someone gave the grandmother a Whitman's sampler for Christmas. I digress. This led me to state that you need to "keep an eye on those diabetics. They're sneaky." My dad apparently took some level of offense at my remark against his new people and said, "Yeah, well I hope you get the diabetes! You know, your brother has it?" The wife and I couldn't stop laughing at the sheer awesomeness of this remark.

Lisa then started talking about how fortune cookies no longer seem to contain fortunes. They're just random sayings. I asked but, "Man with hole in pants feel cocky all day," apparently isn't one of these new sayings. I opened my fortune cookie and told her it actually had a bona fide fortune in it. It said, "You're going to get the diabetes." My dad didn't seem amused.

We finished lunch and headed back to the house. During the drive home it was raining and my dad was all over the road (as usual). After almost hitting someone he said, "There are some crazy drivers around these parts." I couldn't help but turn to the wife and say, "Yeah, and we're riding with one of them." After hanging out at the house and playing some PS2 with the parents we headed back out for dinner. We decided that some third-rate barbecue might hit the spot so we headed toward Bill Miller's. During the drive we headed down a road that has been shitty since I was a kid and continues to be shitty today. My mom then launched into a story.

Mom: Oh sure, just like that city official said, if we get annexed into the city everything will get better.
Me: Huh?
Mom: This little shit acted like we'd get better emergency services–
Dad: And roads. He said roads.
Mom: –and roads if we got annexed. How do you like our new road?
Me: I thought you were already part of the city.
Dad: We are. This was a little while back.
Me: Wait. We were part of the city when I was growing up.
Mom: Yes. No, this was a while back.
Me: Like, what, 20 years?
Dad: Oh, no…this was probably about 38 years ago.
Me: Ah. A little while ago. Gotcha…

We finally got to Bill Miller's and ordered our food. They're regulars there so the manager came by and greeted them. After he left my dad assured me that, "He's a good manager. He's Mexican, but he's a good manager." These remarks typically make me uncomfortable, but never more so than before I've gotten my food…

Finally, we headed back to Austin late Saturday night because of the impending ice storm. We made it home a few hours before everything started to freeze solid.

By the way, the painting of the dog is one of our Chihuahuas, done from this photo:

I work with a guy who is very anti-gambling and pretty "Christian." Today he had bet an imaginary $5 (because real money would be gambling) that nobody would know the answer to some question without looking it up[1]. At the end of his contest he "jokingly" offered me his five mythical dollars to shut up (I was being mildly annoying). This of course led to a behind his back conversation in which we joked about him considering the lottery the greatest of all sins[2], since he had previously gone off during a team lunch about its evils.

Oddly, I have to agree with him partially here. The lottery is a sin against one of the highest powers in the universe. Mathematics. Of course we differ in that I think anyone should be allowed to commit that sin. Which brings me to my next idea. States that are thinking about having a state run lottery (because if the state does it it isn't gambling, unlike poker) should invest a portion of the profit into education programs to teach people the math behind the lottery and how impossibly improbable it is for them to win. I feel better about this than the money the cigarette companies shell out on anti-smoking campaigns because it isn't a company, but rather the government. Any thoughts?

[1] Google has ruined reward based trivia contests, just ask the radio stations. They've now moved on to the dangerous world of drinking contests.

[2] In Christian-dom I think analytical thought is considered the greatest sin…

…but you can't pick your family. Unless they're your in-laws. And if that were the only criteria involved, I chose poorly. Lisa and I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas in her home town with her father's side of the family followed by her mother's side of the family.

Father In Law's Side

Her uncle (we'll call him Carl like my brother since he's also the third of four children and he's also the one that is mentally "off") wanted desperately to have Christmas Eve at his one bedroom house, as long as someone else agreed to bring some turkey, ham, rolls, cheesecake, deviled eggs, green bean casserole, fruit salad, peas, stuffing, etc. In his defense I think he provided a couple of bags of chips, two kinds of store bought dip, and some lovely cheese cubes.

The festivities started at 2pm. His one bedroom pad seemed plenty big for the 16 people that attended. I know I had more than ample room to partake of that magnificent spread while balancing my Styrofoam prison tray on my lap as I perched atop a folding chair in the living room.

Unfortunately after lunch we had to open presents, which is when everyone really spread out. It was all assholes and elbows in there. I think I chipped a tooth. This coupled with listening to my wife's first cousin once removed cry his five year old eyes out because his drinking cup didn't have his name on it in black marker (while everyone else's did) was almost too much to take.

Luckily, I really scored the gifts. We'll skip the good and the mediocre. The bad: a men's manicure set, a bag of cookies made with frozen cookie dough left over from some school fund raising drive, and one snub.

Intermission

We finished off the night at my wife's aunt house where my Christmas present was more material for the blog. My wife's aunt has a brother. We'll call him Carl as well, since he's the third of four children and he's also the one in the family that is mentally "off"–spotting a trend here? Stop at two kids, people.

Anyway, Carl comes to visit every now and then. Two years ago during Christmas he had to go to the hospital for a self described case of exhaustion that led to him being diagnosed with a raging case of the crazies. He's also a diabetic. The last time he came to visit he left his crazy medicine and his insulin at home then promptly drank three gallons of "sweet tea." The "sweet" in sweet tea comes from sugar in case you didn't know. Sugar is kryptonite to diabetics. Trip to the hospital. That's the same visit he was using the aunt's hot tub as a replacement for bathing.

Well, this trip he "forgot" both of his medicines again. That night he was whining about needing some prune juice because he apparently couldn't remember the last time he had a bowel movement. After that he just alternated between laying in his room and walking about the house moaning. The next day he decided to load up his coffee with sugar. When the aunt pointed out that he shouldn't do that, he just said, "I don't care." Trip to the hospital.

Mother In Law's Side

Lisa's cousin insisted on having Christmas day lunch at 1pm, which is earlier than normal by about two hours. After many delays we finally sat down to eat at 3:30pm.

My wife's uncle (whose wife died a little over a year ago) dropped off the grandmother and his son (who has cerebral palsy) at the the house and promptly left. The buzz was that he's uncomfortable with these family gatherings since his wife died, but I don't remember him ever liking these gatherings.

I sat at lunch with the cousin with cerebral palsy while he repeatedly insisted that he was perfectly capable of opening his own mixed martial arts grappling gym (despite having no training and, um, cerebral palsy along with having had around eight brain surgeries). I'm not one to let my fellow man delude himself, so I pointed out that there was no way in hell this was going to happen. During the room-wide awkward silence that followed I explained that while no one else would tell him this, he could count on me to deliver an icy slap of reality whenever he needed it. I consider it part of my Christmas present to him. He's a very nice kid, but he has a lot of illusions and delusions that have been fostered by those around him for far too long.

Later we found out that a different cousin of my wife's was about to end her marriage. Details of the breakup are sketchy but may involve some sort of failed attempt at an "open" marriage. My wife's grandmother then informed us that the cousin "got her labia pierced." I'll just file that away in case it should ever prove useful.

By this time everyone began to leave, stranding the grandmother and MMA-boy. My wife and I were the only semi-responsible people left so we took them home. When we arrived we found the uncle anxiously waiting for us so he could review both his and the grandmother's wills. After we covered that he dug out an old video tape from six years ago taken by him and his now deceased wife. After 15 excruciating minutes of trying to figure out the inputs on the television, he finally tried another TV and got it working. An hour into watching footage of a ranch in west Texas (complete with video tours of the cabin and deer blinds) I finally gnawed off my own leg and escaped.

Epilogue

• If you don't want me to make fun of your one bedroom house, don't invite me and 14 other people over for Christmas.
• You, your spouse, and your kid count as three gifts. My wife and I count as two. You owe me another present you cheap motherfucker.
• Mental illness is a disease, blah blah blah. It's a disease that just so happens to be comedy gold. Thanks crazy people.
• I can't imagine having a child with cerebral palsy or losing my wife. However, my wife's uncle actually has a more morbid sense of humor than me, so on some level I think he'd appreciate this.
• If you pierce your clit, please ask me if I want to see it (I might), but don't let your grandmother tell me about it first–it kills the mood.

For Thanksgiving this year the plan was the usual, head down to my parents' place and have some food, hang out for a day or two, and head back home to enjoy some time off. I took Wednesday off so we could head down early and possibly avoid the extra traffic. Tuesday night Lisa (my wife) started feeling a bit off and running a fever. Since she'd been sick with a cold the previous two weeks I thought we should go ahead an cancel the trip.

Later that evening she started getting a pain in her side. The pain progressed into a sharp stabbing pain. Eventually while sitting up she realized that she couldn't stand upright without a lot of discomfort. Around 1:15 in the morning (now technically Wednesday) she was finally willing to go to the emergency room. We got there a little before 2am and after sitting in the waiting room for an hour or so we finally got in to see a doctor. They ran an IV and gave her some painkillers that made her quite happy. They did the usual, took blood and urine. The blood showed an elevated white blood cell count so they decided to do a CAT scan.

After more waiting they came in with the news that she had a large abscess on her left kidney and that she'd be spending some time in the hospital. We finally got her checked into a room around 7 in the morning.

The next day around 2pm they did another CAT scan and used it for visibility to suck some pus from the abscess and to run a drain through her back to her kidney to allow the abscess to drain even more.

They continued giving her antibiotics via the IV and periodically flushed and checked the drainage from the tube coming out of her back. Flushing consists of turning a lock on the tube and injecting saline through the tube up into the area around her kidney. This fluid along with some infected pus then drains back out into the bag. They measure the drainage minus whatever saline they push into it to determine how much longer they need to leave the drain in. They also found out that she is allergic to Vancomycin. The Vancomycin made her itch and one of her hands started to swell. They gave her Benadryl to counteract the reaction.

Although she had been up and around to go to the bathroom all through this ordeal, by Friday she was able to actually walk even though she had substantial discomfort. The drain and antibiotics continued and by Saturday and Sunday she had improved to being only slightly sore and was able to take a couple of 15-30 minute walks per day, just in time to see the Christmas decorations going up around the hospital.

By Monday they finally decided the drain could come out, which she assures me was quite painful due to the loop of stiff tubing they had to pull through the incision in her back. After that she was cleared to go home. She's on an oral antibiotic for a month and will have to go in for another CAT scan in around 6 weeks to make sure everything is still doing okay.

And that's how we spent Thanksgiving in 2006.

I ran across a news story today that some home owner outside of Denver is going to be fined $25 per day by her home owner's association if she doesn't take down her peace symbol Christmas wreath. The HOA president stated that some people could see it as a protest against the Iraq war and that he'd received 3 or 4 complaints (in a community of 200 homes). It's an outrage, blah blah blah. Anyway, the part that got me was that he said, "It’s also an anti-Christ sign. That’s how it started." Now I'm all for anti-Christ symbols, especially around the holidays, but unfortunately his facts are a bit mixed up. My twenty seconds of research on the GOOG turned up the origins as a nuclear disarmament protest group. Further reading found that part of the origins are the combination of the semaphore letters for 'N' and 'D', as in Nuclear Disarmament. Here's some hotlink action to some images from an Australian website.

Draw a circle around it to represent some hippie's womb and you're all done. It's all well and good for people to fuck with each others' rights/freedoms/civil liberties/etc but please at least get some of your facts right.

As for the Australians they're quickly gaining notoriety for having the most restrictive copyright laws in the civilized world. If search engines were blocked here, as they could become there, I wouldn't have been able to find the origins of the peace symbol and discovered that Bob Kearns (the HOA guy, remember? Stick with me) is a gargantuan idiot.

Well I've shown the Aussies at least. Their semaphore site has probably crashed now that my several readers have pounded it mercilessly. Without the cheat sheets their "flag-net" will be crippled!!!111<shift+one><shift+one> (as the kids like to punctuate).

I'll admit it, I'm obsessed with peoples' odd bathroom behavior. Just as I was leaving the bathroom (after washing my hands unlike some people) some guy comes in eating a brownie. He sits the half eaten brownie down on the counter on top of a napkin. He then turns around and starts using the urinal. I'm not squeamish by any stretch of the imagination, but don't you think a communal bathroom is an odd place to bring food? I could be a madman standing behind him and giving his brownie the stink finger. I mean that in the non-sexual sense, of course. And what about the other millions of tiny shit particles that are inevitably attracted to food-like substances sitting on bathroom counters?

It reminds me of a couple of jobs ago when Cote' found a half empty bag of Doritos behind one of the toilets (although, he insists it was half full). Did the person suddenly come to his senses and realize it was a bit disgusting to eat on the toilet? Hell, why not bring a burger in with you? I must admit there is a certain appeal to the efficiency of it all.

Cote' is also the person that sent me the video on Male Restroom Etiquette. Overall a beautiful piece but it falls apart toward then end. I give it 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.